He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my being single is dangerous.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
