I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Too much gin, very little bucket
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
