At least make sure they are 18
Why
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You dont lie about slip and slides
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
