Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
