is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
