and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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