woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
