Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
