i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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