Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
