and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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