I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
