big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
