R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
