i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
