we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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