In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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