I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
