From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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