If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
