i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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