Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
