I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
