recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's the barista slut.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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