I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize