I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
