yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
