is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
