Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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