Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
