Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
