I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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