Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
