i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
