i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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