At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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