Umm I'm too high to move.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You ruined the universe
Randomize
