Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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