1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
