I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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