If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize