we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
