Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
