hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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