We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
