i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
