Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
