Is it because I queefed?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
