Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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