There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
