I showed him my bush... on skype.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
