dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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