You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
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Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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