so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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