I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
