holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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