It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
