Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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