im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
