she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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