i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
