i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
