somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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