There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Randomize
